Thursday, 20 September 2012

Surely We Can't Be Her Kids


The brilliant thing about both my sisters is that they know better than to start moaning to me. I knew that we would still get on in the back of the car. We’ve done this kind of routine so many times. Mum had earlier told me that I could sit in the front on the way home but obviously now that I’d annoyed her I just got in the back anyway. But I did always make sure that I sat next to the window. Florence was in the middle and I started giving her dead legs with my elbow as she was pinching me and I knew she was pinching me because really she just wanted me to give her a dead leg because she likes me giving her dead legs and I don’t mind her pinching me back when I can hurt her back the same. So as it’s going well I give her loads of really good dead legs that must have hurt her and amazingly mum just lets us get on with it and we really are playing up in the back and making so much noise as well. We really couldn’t believe how we’re getting away with it. Especially the way mums in such a horrible mood. And then Carnaby goes and gets jealous. To keep everyone happy I have to lean across Florence so that I can give Carnaby a couple of dead legs as well while we’re stopped at some traffic lights. Me and Florence then both smile to each other as Carnaby now feels part of the fun. Even though I’d made sure I wasn’t pressing down too hard so it actually didn’t hurt her. 
         On the way home we stopped at a pub called The Country Fiddle. I read the sign before even mum had indicated and then went and spoke. She was thirsty, fancied a drink she said. She also needed something strong as she had a headache. And after that she then said how surely we must want a drink and some crisps. Work that one out. We had to sit in the beer garden and wait for her while she went in the pub. The beer garden was quite packed and it was no surprise she took ages. I was getting really bored and no one was in the mood for anymore dead legs and Carnaby just wouldn’t stay still and both me and Florence kept having to run after her. I was getting tired and starting to get in a bit of a mood. I wanted to go home. When mum finally came out holding a tray she went and told us to move to another bench at the back of the garden. I noticed that everyone was looking at mum because she had bought a pint of lager. Me and Carnaby had lemonade and Florence had a coke. Florence said she was hungry. We’d definitely all said yes to crisps but mum just hadn’t bothered. The beer garden was really packed and really noisy and we weren’t comfortable at all. There were no other kids. It was all grown ups who were mainly men. We’d hardly just found a table when some man with short blonde hair wearing a blue shirt came straight over on his own from where he was standing in a crowd of friends and started talking to mum. I could tell she didn’t know him but he was acting like he knew her though. Being all friendly telling her how surely we couldn’t be her kids. How she looked so young. The man must be drunk. I then wondered if this man sounds as stupid when he hasn’t been drinking as he keeps repeating himself over and over again about how we can’t surely be her kids. Even Carnaby now looks embarrassed. All three of us all yawn at the same time. He didn’t like that. When we yawned. He looked at us like he wished we weren’t there. Mum continues to giggle and look and sound silly and I still want to go home and I’m about to say something. But then just as it looks like we might be going home the man goes and gets mum another drink and at the same time he also isn’t getting the three of us nothing because he never bloody well asked. He was gone before any of us could say anything. The thing that I think about brothers and about sisters is that when you’re all in it together you will stick together because you have to and you have to go through it together and in all the badness you will always find something good about each other. Which makes you all stronger. But then again maybe I’m just saying this because we’re just sitting looking all lost and lonely and watching mum smoke yet another cigarette as she stares about the beer garden and she’s definitely making it so obvious that she’s avoiding our eyes. We’re all so unhappy and so quiet and it gets worse because he’s only gone and got mum a second pint. Mum drinks some of it really fast and it really does seem to make mum go drunk really quick because she’s already had one pint and whatever she was drinking on the pier. She’s now giggling at everything the man says. Stuff that just ain’t funny.  And then the man is joined by all his mates and we’re really being invaded and me and my sisters are even more uncomfortable about it. But no one notices or actually wants to notice us as everyone’s now around us and they talk such rubbish which goes on for ages and ages. At some point they go and start to say some other stuff and soon some of the men are saying really nasty things about mum and what they would like to do to her. This goes on for ages. I don’t like what there saying. My two sisters look worried. I want to speak but I can’t seem to do nothing. Then the man who first came over and had bought mum a pint goes and tries to shut them up but they keep going. They actually get even louder. Being rude and nasty to mum and because of some of the things she’s now saying and shouting back, we have to leave the beer garden because everyone’s getting out of control and one of them is really shouting at mum and calling her something really horrible and I notice as we leave that the man who bought mum a pint is walking us to our car. He must be doing it so that we get there safely and we’re all actually really really scared and I can see on mum’s face how she is scared as well and I nearly go to thank him when we get to the car. But as I get in I change my mind and make sure I don’t say anything. I don’t even look at him. And then mum said goodbye to him and thanked him when she should have shouted PISS OFF in his face. About ten minutes later on the way home mum went up the kerb. It made us jump. Before we went up the kerb we had such a lot to say to her and we made sure that we were saying it. But after mum went up the kerb we weren’t allowed to talk anymore and then mum put on the radio and started humming away to herself. She was really drunk and we also all knew she was still scared and we were still scared too and worried as well. Worried that she’d crash the car. With us in the back holding hands.